Foreword

Let me begin this by proclaiming: I’m not a sushi purist by any means. I’m not one of those people who turns their nose up at non-traditional or fusion-inspired sushi because it’s “not authentic Japanese” and insists on boring everyone at the table with never-ending rants about how traditional Japanese sushi is more satisfying than Americanized sushi. I think California Rolls are delicious and just as acceptable as a traditional tuna roll and I’m pretty open to experimentation with my sushi. All that aside, there are some things that should never be made into sushi, and here is my top list of things I’ve stumbled upon, while perusing the internet for new recipes, that just made me raise my eyebrows and say “…really?!?”

5. BBQ Chicken Sushi

I’m willing to accept a lot of experimentation in my sushi, but I have to draw the line somewhere. I love BBQ chicken. I love sushi. I just don’t think I love them in the same mouthful. When i think of rice that I would pair with chicken, I want pungent, exciting, spicy flavors. I don’t want the vinegary and sugary taste of seasoned sushi rice. Additionally, I think the chicken would just be too sinewy and tough.

4. Spam Sushi

Referred to as ‘musubi’ in Hawaii where it is apparently popular, this is nigiri made with pieces of spam substituted for a lovely piece of raw tuna or salmon. This just doesn’t seem like it would be very delicious. The sushi rice is sweet and sour. The spam is salty. It doesn’t seem like it would make a lot of happy in my mouth. Oh, and did I mention…it’s spam. wtf?

3. Hamburger Sushi

I think I would almost be able to go with this if it weren’t for the little drizzle of ketchup on the top. Placing red meat in a maki roll format isn’t that strange of an idea in and of itself. The problem with placing hamburger meat into a rice roll and referring to it as sushi, however, is that it would much more appropriately be called kimbap. Kimbap is the Korean variation of sushi that generally includes red meat like hamburger in its rolls instead of fish. I myself would avoid it with the common uncooked red meat fears. The rolls themselves taste fine, (it’s just beef and rice, after all) and hamburger meat is generally molded to a tender enough consistency for a roll. I just feel it’s improper to refer to a hamburger roll as ‘sushi’, when there’s another, far more appropriate term for it from a different culture.

2. Horse Sashimi

Hmmm. According to the website I snagged this photo from, raw horse is a luxury item in some neighborhoods in Tokyo. Apparently the taste is not unlike beef and is slighter milder in flavor, with more fat marbling. Personally, I’m gonna say no to this one, cause I don’t really want to think about eating Seabiscuit, and I don’t think it should qualify to be served in sushi restaurants anyway, since it’s not fish. And it’s raw red meat, again a no-no in my eyes.

1. Mac n’ Cheese

OK I said I wasn’t going to be a freak-out sushi purist, but I’ve gotta go off on this one. What. the. hell? This is awful. This is pitiful. Macaroni and cheese is not sushi. The presentation of this plate tells me that it’s being prepared by a professional chef in a restaurant, which means that some enterprising chef has found himself a cute little sushi press, filled it with mac n’ cheese, and is trying to sell it as novelty sushi, undoubtedly for some unrealistically inflated price. Is that ground beef in the center? Is this a sloppy joe in a mold? How can you refer to this as sushi? This is a travesty!

Ok I’m done. That’s my rundown of the top 5 things I don’t think should be made into ‘sushi’. What do you think? What’s the weirdest, nastiest, or most crazy ‘sushi’ you’ve ever eaten?

David Fishman is a blogger and internet marketer living and working in Atlanta, GA. In his spare time, he likes to cook and blog about his efforts about How to Make Sushi.

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